Why Sometimes Breakups Are Good

          Break ups are hard, and painful, and sad. Sometimes breakups are for no reason, and other times it's the best thing that could've happened to yourself or even for your relationship. Most of the time if the split was serious,  it can seem almost impossible to get past the heartbreak. One of the best ways to survive the break up is to consider all the good that can come out of it. 

For yourself

The break up happened. Your heart is broken and aching. Time to move on and get over it. No, it's not that simple, but there are some positive outcomes to this unconventional pain. You finally get to focus on yourself. You no longer have to worry about the other half. You can one hundred percent figure yourself out. Ask yourself those hard questions that you didn't think you needed to evaluate because your life was set. Those difficult questions that you didn't want to scrutinize on your own.  What you want to do with your life? What do you want to become and grow into? What has changed about yourself that you don't like? What did you lose from this relationship, and what do you want to gain now that you're not attached? 

You get to take a step back and be a little selfish. Do what you want. Spoil yourself. Spend lots of money or don't. It's all about you at this very moment. You now have time to reevaluate life. Rethink all that you once believed and wanted. It's your turn to come up with a new plan. You are able to discover new hobbies or passions. Things that you wouldn't have tried when you were in a relationship. 

After the break up, you begin to notice who is really there for you. Who your true friends are, and who are the genuine people. That saying, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" becomes true. The greatest part of a break up is realizing and learning your worth and how strong you actually are. Self worth isn't determined from the love of another.  Self worth comes from with in. Only you can determine that. You are your own happiness. 

For your relationship

The relationship ended. But you're meant to be together. You feel it in your heart and you just know. Occasionally a break up might not be the end of your story together. Break ups are sometimes exactly what the love doctor ordered. Maybe you just needed some time apart. Roughly half of young couples break up and spend some time apart before getting back together at least once. Breaking up and getting back together (on and off again) is fundamental for some young adults, which can result in finding oneself and gaining personal growth. Sometimes couples need space. Time apart can help you become more appreciative of your partner. That saying, "You don't know what you have until it's gone" may pertain to this exact situation. A break may help you conclude what you want and don't want out of the relationship.

You may realize you miss your partner, and that you would rather be with them then apart from them. Time apart may help you find out the biggest truths of your relationship. Why you were together in the first place? What made you fall in love in love with your partner? Why you broke up, and was the reasoning behind the break up reason enough? A break may help you fall back or even more in love. Maybe being separated brings back that spark. Whichever it is, maybe a break or even breaking up is exactly what you and your (ex) partner needed.

If the opportunity to get back with your ex pursued, would you go for another chance at love? Would you take the risk? Whatever decision you choose to make regarding getting back in a previous relationship, or staying single for a while. Just know that it is ok. Only you can decide what is right for you and what isn't. 

Either way, I hope you're in a peaceful happy place right now, and that love comes and hits you like a freight train <3



  1. Would you mind if I sent this to my oldest stepdaughter?


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