5 Signs You're Actually an A Hole

          You might not even notice it, but you're probably an A hole. You probably do things that annoy people, or upset them and you don't care about their feelings or what they think. You probably also have a fuck it, I do what I want mentality, and an arrogant attitude. Then yeah, you're a total butthole. If you have caught yourself doing any of these things on the list below, you may need to reevaluate your life. I know that there are a thousand and one things that can make you a total douche nozzle, but here are my top five reasons as to why you are.

1. You constantly brag about your healthy fitness lifestyle. Oh you eat grass and work out six hours straight a day, wow you must be extremely sexy looking. Barf. Yeah, I'll stick to my fat ass and my delicious mouth watering pepperoni pizza. Thank you!

2. Pretending to be a real sports fan. Please oh please do not be a bandwagon fan. You can not come and go into the sports world as you please. There are rules you know. You have to love your team, win or lose (ie. The Miami Marlins or The Miami Dolphins) No Matter What! You can't love the Miami Heat just because Lebron was apart of the team, and then not be a fan once he and Dwayne Wade leaves. That's not the way these things work. Either you're a forever 24/7 fan or get the off out.

3. You can't control your facial expressions. No matter how hard you fake being nice and polite, whatever is coming out of your mouth, does not match with the words your face is expressing. Your face is a dead giveaway.

4. You tell people you're almost there when you're not even on your way yet. You're always late, and always the last one to places. Us Cubans have that problem. My mom is a prime example. She always says that she is around the corner. Meaning that it can't take her more than a precise 47 seconds to get to our house from the corner, but in fact she takes over 10 minutes. It's so annoying, and such a butt holy thing to do.

5. You don't use your turn signals. Ugh this is by far the most goober thing you can do. I can't stand people like this. Say I need to make a left turn onto the opposite side of the street and there is someone driving straight. They're going extremely slow so I wait for them to cross in front of me. But right at the last minute after waiting five hundred years, they turn into the same street that I was in. ARGHHH. I could have gone!!! But no instead I waited because I thought you were going straight because YOU DIDN'T HAVE YOUR TURN SIGNAL ON!! Not only should this be illegal, but it can honestly cause a car accident. I can go into so much further detail about this, but I will stop before my head explodes.

What are some of your biggest reasons why someone is a total asswipe?


No comments

Back to Top